I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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