We're like a lot better than the average bears
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
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