I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
