she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
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