I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Randomize
