are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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