I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize