At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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