I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
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