You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
tell me about the fingering
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