he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
