she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize