you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize