What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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