i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
