Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
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I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
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A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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