I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
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It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
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why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.