yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..