So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
I told him it was alright.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.