If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
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They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
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Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"