Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I just googled if crying burns calories
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity