why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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