so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I intend to get homeless drunk
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
