This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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