erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
