He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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