So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Randomize
