I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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