every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
