i was born a porn star she said
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
