im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
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