Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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