You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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