How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
