hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
