Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Randomize