and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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