my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
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