Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
