Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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