i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
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She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
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But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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