I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
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