Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
