We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Randomize
