dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I've blown a few things in my day
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Randomize
