false alarm. still invincible.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
