For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
