She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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