Say something about gay babies.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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