thus making me awesome and them whores
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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