How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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