Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
