i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
