Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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