I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I FOUND THE LEGS
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
