I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
