Are we in a gay sports bar?
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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