did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Dicks are not precious.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize
