what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
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