the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
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sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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