so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Randomize
