so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
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