i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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