i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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