I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Randomize
