Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
