A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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