I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
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