u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
