dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
