doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
wanna go halves on a baby?
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Oh god it's open bar.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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