I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
