Buhtt sex?
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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