Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
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I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
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Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
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