I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
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She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
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Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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