Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
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