he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
