he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
