It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Randomize
