When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
