I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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